At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
Randomize
