he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
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