operation harelip BJ is a go
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
We were destined to go to rehab together
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Randomize
