if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
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