Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
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