# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
Randomize
