Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
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