I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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