Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
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