Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
Randomize
