i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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