just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
