After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
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