i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
Randomize
