Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
I woke up wearing no shirt sleeping next to a half-eaten grilled cheese.
Well did you call the grilled cheese yet? Or r u waiting the usual 3 days?
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
And then the night went full on bisexual.
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
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