he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
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