just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
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