I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
I just threw up on my dentist
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
Randomize
