In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
