just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
Randomize
