if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
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