is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
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