These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
My cleaning lady broke my bubbler. It's awkward between us now.
Why?
Because she knows I do drugs and I know she's a clumsy bitch.
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
Randomize
