What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
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