so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Randomize