What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
Randomize
