my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
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