marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
Threesome in a minivan. New low
You remember that guy i fucked in Ireland who stopped in the middle to talk about why he had 8 pillows on his bed? Yeah he's following me on twitter...
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
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