New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
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