he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
Randomize
