you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
Randomize
