brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
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