pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
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