I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
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