Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
Randomize
