Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
