i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
i just woke up with two martini umbrellas taped to my nipples... idk how they got there
ugly people sure do ruin things
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
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