I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
Randomize
