im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
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