There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
is that a dick in a sweater?
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Randomize
