I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
I fill condoms, not promises.
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
Randomize
