I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
Randomize
