When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
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