as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
You smell like stripper and shame
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
Randomize
