all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
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