there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
Randomize
