i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Randomize