Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
Why is there a wet sock in my garbage? Why did I chug so much red wine? Why was someone signing into my iCloud account at 4 am in China? Why do I do self-destructive reckless things? So many questions.
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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