I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
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