I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
Randomize