He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
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