He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
