I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize
