dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
Randomize
