love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Randomize
