You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
Randomize
