what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
Randomize
