i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
Randomize
