the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
We had sex on a dog bed..
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
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