this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
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