My nipple is on Facebook.
You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
Randomize
