ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Randomize
