Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Randomize
