The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize