is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
Randomize
