does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
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