it hurts more in the daytime
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
Remember that St. Patrick's Day when I fucked your married coworker in his truck and the whole bar was chanting for you "Don't fuck Mike"?! #TheLuckOfTheIrish 🍀
Randomize
