I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
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