I swear she didn't look like that last week.
I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
Randomize
