she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
Randomize
