I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
Randomize
