I swear she didn't look like that last week.
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
Randomize
