Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
Randomize
