she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
Randomize