just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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