You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
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