Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
She bit a glass in half.
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
Randomize
