alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize
