i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
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