From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
Randomize
