Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
Randomize
