Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
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