awoke with 47 plastic lawn flamingos in my bed and on surrounding floor. explanation?
you said they were your minions of evil that protected you from ferrets.
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
Randomize
