so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
You brought string cheese to the strip club
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
Randomize
